The Truth About Foster Care

    It is sooo hard! I know that we are supposed to do this for a reason. Kara has become part of our family and I can't imagine life without her. That's the hardest part. There is a very likely possibility that she won't be part of our family permanently. It tears me apart! I just feel like my heart keeps getting ripped in two over and over again! One week they're telling us it looks like we'll be able to adopt her, the next week they're saying her mom will most likely get her back. It's killing me! I don't know what to think or feel anymore. I've felt all along that we were suppose to do this for Kara, and I still feel that way; but I also wonder if we're suppose to be doing this to help her mom too. I've been trying to help her mom. We've became friends and she knows if she needs anything I'll do my best to help her. It's just so complicated. I don't want her mom to completely rely on me for everything and expect me to always give her things. She needs to learn how to be self sufficient as well. It's such a fine line.
    We were supposed to have the permanency hearing on Sept. 9th. The exact one year date from when we first got Kara. We had been mailed a copy of the court report which stated that DCFS was asking for no more reunification and to set a date for a pretrial to terminate bio parents parental rights. Basically the first step on the road for us to begin the adoption process. We got a phone call on the night of the 8th, just hours before the permanency hearing, telling us that they were going to be asking for a 3 month extension. We are devastated! We had been fasting and praying that things would work out best for Kara. Our family and even our whole ward fasted the Sunday before for Kara. Apparently the State Attorney for DCFS was looking over all the court reports from the past year and she got nervous that we didn't have enough to terminate. Even though Kara's mom has only done about 50% of what's been asked of her, apparently in a situation like this 50% might be enough to regain custody of her child. It honestly sickens me. I just feel like if she really loved her and really wanted her back she would have been trying harder and doing everything that was asked of her. I worry that if Kara goes back to her she'll end up right back in the system a few months later, and who knows what sort of neglect and abuse she may suffer before that happens. I want so badly to protect her and keep her safe and I worry that the state won't allow me to do that and that they will end up knowingly placing her in harms way. We go back to court again in a month and then the next permanency hearing is scheduled for Dec.1st so we will be going through this all over again then:( We wanted to do foster care to help the children, and I know that we have helped Kara, but it really concerns me to see the inner workings of our government. It's honestly set up to protect the parent's rights over the children's. I just can't help think that our government and we as a society should be doing better than this.